????“所得并非所值，有所求才能有所得。”

????談判專家萊斯特?嘉洛斯

????“重復才能實現溝通。重復、重復、再重復。”

????廣告大師李奧?貝納

????最近，一位來自中國的讀者給我們發來了下面這封電子郵件：

????“我是一位營銷業務負責人，跟老板不在同一間辦公室。我從來沒有聽到過她對我有什么負面評價，所以我想她對我的工作成績感到滿意。但最近我要求漲工資時遭到了她的拒絕。她告訴我，她沒有在我的工作中看到多少亮點。實際上，我工作很努力，而且在沒有任何指導的情況下完成了許多困難的任務，因為她非常忙。我怎么才能讓她了解到這些情況呢？我不想跟她發生爭執。”——失意之人

????從這一小段文字中能很容易地感覺到，這位讀者在工作時非常努力，而且非常愿意做出成績。但她的工作沒有得到老板的認可，這讓她非常沮喪。聽起來很熟悉吧？我聽到這種事的頻率相當高——亞洲地域廣闊，自己的老板在另一個國家、另一座城市或者同一座城市的另一端生活和工作的現象比比皆是。因此，員工和老板之間很容易出現“看不見，想不到”的情況。

????以下是跟不在眼前的老板進行溝通的五項建議。（實際上，如果你的老板跟你同處一室而且就在你身邊辦公，這些建議也同樣有效！）

????1.跟老板清清楚楚地把績效標準講明白。

????給人做培訓時，我會問對方他們跟老板商定的績效標準是什么，他們卻說不清楚自己怎樣才算完成了工作，這讓我很意外。在這個問題上，很多時候都沒有形成文字。這些人經常把自己的職位描述作為參考！實際上，職位描述的內容是員工要做什么樣的工作，需要具備哪些能力以及工作的主要重心等等。它界定了員工在企業中的作用。

????但職位描述并不足以說明“今后12個月以及更長時間內老板對員工的具體績效有什么樣的期望？”要明確這樣的問題，員工和老板就得針對工作目標進行探討。有時，如果公司制定了績效管理流程，這樣的對話就會成為這個流程中的一環。很多情況下，老板和員工從來都不探討這些問題。在沒有明確績效預期，更沒有白紙黑字寫下來的情況下，你們怎么去公平地評價自己的工作呢？做不到！你沒有任何辦法來左右老板對你工作表現的印象。到最后，你很可能會成為失意的人。

????如果沒有把這個問題講得明明白白，我建議你們馬上要求跟老板開個會，確定績效目標，而且你們要堅持明確以下問題：

????? 今后12個月你要求我取得哪些具體成績

????? 如果我的工作表現達到預期，對我進行評估時將采用哪些具體的績效標準？

????? 換句話說，怎樣才能徹徹底底地確定我已經達到了你的預期。

????不要接受含糊不清的答案和籠統的回答，比如“做好工作就萬事大吉”。很多時候，老板們并沒有真正考慮過這些問題，因此他們也不是有備而來。在這種情況下，建議他們一周后（或者一段時間以后，具體由你們商定）帶著答案再來和你見面。

????“要是他們再也不跟我徹底講清楚我怎樣才算完成了工作，那該怎么辦？”我就知道會有人這么說！要是出現這樣的情況，你們就坐下來，自己起草一份工作績效標準，然后請他們過目，同時作出評價。無論如何，如果老板或人事部門不能為你提供明確的績效標準，你們自己就要承擔起責任，確保這些標準得到確立。你們要采取主動，而不是“默默忍受”，要通過這樣的行動來展示自己的責任感。你們具有領導力嗎？那就采取主動吧。

????記住：所得并非所值，有所求才會有所得。

????2. 給老板一份書面績效目標和完成工作的標準

????跟老板一清二楚地商定了績效目標和標準后，用電子郵件給他們發一份，同時一定要在自己工作的地方貼一份，以便每天都能看到自己的目標。讓老板知道你決心實現這些目標，而且一定要專注于這些你和老板商定的目標。每天多看幾次，確保自己先做那些能讓你實現這些目標的重要工作（參見此前我在財富中文網上發表的文章《時間管理是空話，集中精力吃青蛙》）。

????“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.”

????Lester Karrass, Negotiation Expert

????“Communication works by repetition. Repeat, repeat, and repeat.”

????Leo Burnett

????Recently Fortune China received the following email from a reader in China:

????"I‘m a marketing executive. My boss is not in the same office with me. I never received bad comments from her and I thought she’s satisfied with my work result. But when I asked for a raise recently, she refused and told me she didn't see many highlights in my work. Actually, I worked hard and finished many difficult tasks without any guidance because she was so busy. How can I let her know that? I don't want to argue." – Frustrated

????From this short note it is easy to sense that the writer is working very hard, is very committed to delivering results and also very frustrated that her work is not being recognized by her boss. Sound familiar? I hear this kind of thing quite frequently---Asia is a big region and its very common to report to a boss that lives and works in a another country, another city or even far across town. As such, it’s easy for an employee to be “out of sight, out of mind.”

????Here are five tips for managingcommunication with an Absentee Boss. (In fact, these tips will work find even if your boss sits right next to you in the same office!)

????No. 1. Negotiate Crystal Clear Performance Criteria with Your Boss.

????I am always surprised when I ask people that I coach about their agreed performance criteria for their job and they aren’t able to articulate the standards of success for me. Often no written document exists. Usually they will refer to their job description! In reality, your job description outlines the kind of work you will be doing, the competencies required, key job focuses, etc. It spells out your role in the organization.

????But a job description is not enough to clarify “What specific results is the boss expecting from me in the next 12 months and over the longer term?” To get that level of clarity requires a Goal Setting Conversation. Sometimes such a conversation happens as part of the company’s Performance Management process, if such a process is in use. Often, these conversations never happen at all. Without clearly defined performance expectations, written in black and white, how are you going to get a fair evaluation of your work? You won’t! You will have zero leverage to manage their perception of your performance. And its likely you will end up frustrated.

????If you don’t have such crystal clarity, I urge you to request a Goal Setting Meeting with your boss and insist on clarifying:

????? What specific results will you hold me accountable for delivering in the next 12 months

????? What specific success criteria will be applied in order to evaluate if the results were delivered as expected?

????? In other words, how will you know, beyond all doubt that I have met your expectations.

????Don’t accept vague answers and generalizations like “just do good work and everything will be fine.” Often bosses haven’t really asked themselves these questions and so they won’t have a ready answer. If that’s the case, ask them to come back to you in a week (or other agreed time-frame) with some answers.

????“But what if they never come back with the crystal clear success criteria?” I can hear people saying! In that case, sit down and draft your own success criteria for your work and send it to them for consideration. Talk to people who have more experience and ask them to review and comment on your draft. In any case, its up to you to ensure that clear performance benchmarks are in place if the boss or HR can’t provide them for you. Show your commitment by taking the lead instead of ‘suffering in silence.’ Are you a Leader? Then lead.

????Remember: you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.

????2. Send Your Boss a Written Copy of Your Performance Goals and Success Criteria

????Once you have agreed crystal clear performance goals and benchmarks with your boss, send them a copy via email and be sure to keep a copy posted in your workplace where you can see your goals every day. Let your boss know you are committed to achieve these, and more, and you will stay focused on the agreed goals. Refer to your goals several times a day and make sure you organize around priority work that will lead to achieving your goals. (See my previous Fortune China article on Swallowing 3 Frogs.)?