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專欄 - 日月談

如何打造聆聽文化(I)

莫拉·法倫 2013年02月21日

莫拉·法倫,財富中文網專欄作家,曾經擔任聯信及霍尼韋爾亞太分公司學習發展部主管;她在“軟技巧”領域的真知灼見引人入勝。“日”和“月”,兩者互為對立。一個熱烈似火,一個冷清如水。在漢字里,又恰好組成了一個“明”字。公司和人的問題亦是如此:對立起來,兩者都有缺憾;唯有相輔相成,才能陰陽調和。點擊查看莫拉的過往作品。
聆聽能夠消除傾訴者的困惑和壓力,也能豐富傾聽者的思路。聆聽在人們之間建立起了積極的互動,有助于建立起良性的聯系,改善人們的感受,提升合作的成效。

????“如果有人認真傾聽,不做判斷,不問是非,也不吹毛求疵,訴說者會覺得如沐春風。當我訴說而又有人傾聽,我就能另辟蹊徑來重新感悟身邊的世界,如是循環反復。

????有人聆聽時,看似毫無聯系的事物就能融為一體;用話語打動別人時,看似無法化解的困惑就變得相對清晰流暢,這真是讓人嘆為觀止。”

????心理學家卡爾?羅杰斯

????對成功的領導者來說,公眾認可的是他們的話語,而他們真正的權力卻在于聆聽和提出深刻的問題。訴說、聆聽并讓自己的話打動聽眾,這些行為幫助人們消除困惑。聆聽是一種積極的關懷,它能從本質上改變人們共事的方式。

????那些以任務為導向的人,特別是已經處于高級管理崗位的人有時會難以發現聆聽可以為他們提供的幫助。通過聆聽,領導者可以讓大家都參與進來,在相互之間建立聯系。

????? 訴說讓人們了解當前狀況,幫助人們獲得他人的認可。

????? 討論整個團體的目標,聆聽人們的反應,這樣能幫助領導者制定策略和任務,同時發現可能存在的問題。

????? 聆聽讓領導者接觸到各種各樣的意見,進而豐富自己的思路。聆聽讓各方面的思路更加清晰。

????? 正如卡爾?羅杰斯所暗示的那樣,訴說能緩解壓力,增強動力,提升創造性。

????經典管理書籍《組織寓言》(Inside Organizations)和《管理之神》(Gods of Management)的作者查爾斯?漢迪曾經這樣寫道:“有時相信自己的觀點勝過他人確實是一種傲慢之舉。在偉大的領導者身上,謙遜和自信似乎兼而有之,其中包括承認錯誤的能力。”

????為了能和他人聯系在一起,人們可能必須回顧繁忙和離別曾給自己帶來的感受。決心從聆聽和訴說中汲取益處的領導者總是能找到機會讓和自己共事的人們感到愉悅。(財富中文網)

????譯者:濤

????“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels good. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and go on.

????It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard."

????Carl Rogers, psychologist

????Successful leaders are often publicly recognized for what they say, but they achieve their real power by listening and asking insightful questions. To talk, to listen, and to be heard are acts that help clear confusion. Listening is an active form of caring, and it qualitatively changes the way people work together.

????Task-oriented people, especially those who have arrived in senior positions, sometimes find it hard to see how listening can help them. Listening is how leaders get people involved and connected with one another.

????? Being listened to engages people in what is going on and helps develop buy-in.

????? Talking about the organization's goals and then listening to how people respond helps a leader develop strategy and objectives and uncover possible problems.

????? Listening enriches the leader's own thinking by getting a wider range of ideas. Being listened to fosters clearer thinking all around.

????? As Carl Rogers implies, being listened to releases stress, increases motivation, and expands creativity.

????Charles Handy, author of the classics Inside Organisations and Gods of Management, writes, “Sometimes it is indeed arrogance to trust your views more than those of others. Great leaders seem to live with a mix of humility and confidence, which includes the ability to admit on occasion that they are wrong.”

????In order to connect with others, people may have to reach past feelings of busy-ness and separation. A leader committed to reaping the benefits of listening and being listened to can always find time to enjoy the people he or she works with.

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