從這些硅谷的成功女性身上，我學到了這五件事
Julian Guthrie
2019-05-06
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我的新書《阿爾法女孩：這些女性新秀在硅谷男性文化中做成了一生難求的好交易》（Alpha Girls: The Women Upstarts Who Took on Silicon Valley’s Male Culture and Made the Deals of a Lifetime）講述了四位硅谷女性的故事，她們在硅谷由男性主導的殘酷風投界成為了明星，她們投資并支持建立了我們這個時代最重要的一些公司。這四位阿爾法女孩分別是MJ·埃爾默爾，她是美國一家風投公司最早的一批女性合伙人；馬格達萊納·耶希爾，持續創業家、早期電商大師，Salesforce的創始投資人；索尼婭·柏金斯，她的投資讓互聯網更安全、更快捷；賽瑞西亞·格武，她從風投公司Accel Partners的基層做起，現在是Aspect Ventures的聯合創始人，也是非盈利組織All Raise的創始團隊成員。我一直關注這些女性，看她們如何在工作、家庭、離婚、癌癥以及人生其他許許多多事情中披荊斬棘。她們遭遇過挫折和背叛，但卻找到了成功的方法，成為變革的代言人。 從阿爾法女孩的故事中，我們為職業女性總結了五條建議： 1. 你的家人不是每時每刻都需要你。 馬格達萊納·耶希爾是Salesforce第一位來自公司外部的投資者及董事會成員，該公司在網絡泡沫破滅期間幾乎耗盡資金，馬格達萊納幫助拯救了這家公司。但是，當Salesforce2004年6月23日上市時，馬格達萊納卻沒有到場。她兒子病了，所以她待在家里。后來她后悔那天把自己的需求放在了一邊。即使沒有她，兒子也會好起來；當時可以讓其他人幫忙。Salesforce的創始人馬克·貝尼奧夫在紐交所敲鐘時，在那個歷史性時刻，她本應該站在他旁邊。她本應該在場，為這個在她的支持下煥發新生的公司慶祝。就像一個人出生一樣，一個公司的IPO只有一次。馬格達萊納后來告訴自己：當時的決定大錯特錯。沒有一個心智正常的人會做出像她一樣的決定。 2. 幽默創造奇跡。 《阿爾法女孩》中的女主人翁用幽默來平衡男性的力量。MJ·埃爾默爾28歲時，已經是硅谷IVP公司的合伙人了，有一次她需要解雇一位年齡比她大一倍的男性創始人。這位創業者的公司業績不佳，MJ還了解到他和手下一名員工有染。她召集了會議，細數了這位創業者身上種種根深蒂固的問題，然后告訴他：“你被解雇了。” 他憤怒地看著她，說：“我不接受被一個女人解雇！” MJ向右看看。又向左邊看看。之后看了看身后。然后她微笑著說：“好吧，我在這里看不到有其他人，你能看見嗎？你被解雇了。” MJ用幽默緩和了當時可能升級的緊張局勢。她巧妙地開除了這個男性創始人，給她的男同事留下了深刻的印象：無論如何，這都是一場女性的勝利。對于這些人來說，MJ的決斷代表了所有女性在這種情況下的應對之策。 3.不要置身事外 社交在硅谷很重要，而即使在今天，硅谷92％的風險投資合伙人都是男性。女性需要找到一種與人建立聯系和關系的方式。被人喜歡是一種財富。 索尼婭·柏金斯受邀去太陽谷參加銀行界某次社交活動時，她才二十來歲，剛被任命為門羅風投（Menlo Ventures）的新合伙人，這場活動是由蒙哥馬利證券公司（Montgomery Securities）及托馬斯·維塞爾合伙公司（Thomas Weisel Partners）的創始人托馬斯·維塞爾舉辦的。除了以妻子或女友等身份出席活動的女眷外，索尼婭是少數幾個受到邀請的女性之一。那天，她正在小屋里吃午餐時，維塞爾走到她身邊宣布：“索尼婭，我把你加進去了——你要參加比賽。”當天下午要舉行一場高山滑雪比賽。 索尼婭之前的人生中一共只滑過十幾次雪，她很快就站到了陡峭冰冷的山坡上，感覺就像圣誕怪杰格林奇的狗麥克斯一樣，看著白雪覆蓋的懸崖，內心十分肯定不會有什么好結果。她的競爭對手包括前奧林匹克滑雪運動員以及前海豹突擊隊員，維塞爾喜歡招募這一類的人轉行當銀行家。輪到索尼婭時，她從山上滑下，速度不快卻專注而穩定。等她成功著陸時，維塞爾給她豎了個大拇指。那天晚上吃飯時，索尼婭得到了餐廳里最令人垂涎的座位，這是每一個有上進心的銀行家都希望得到的座位——挨著維塞爾坐。正如索尼婭所說：“如果你不參加比賽，你永遠無法獲勝。” 4.弄清楚更衣室談話都說了些什么 賽瑞西亞·格武早就明白，在男性主導的行業里，女性至少需要一個男性盟友和她通氣，看看其他男的都在說些什么。 一天，賽瑞西亞正在她Accel Partners的辦公室里工作，風投界同行吉姆·戈茨走了進來，關上門，告訴她，硅谷里有人暗示賽瑞西亞的一些交易是靠調情或和別人上床拿到的。賽瑞西亞之前也聽過這樣的謠言。周圍都是野心勃勃的人，所以總會有各種各樣的流言蜚語。她出去和創業者吃了頓飯，會有謠言出現。她去參加個會議，也能聽到謠言。用她的話說，哪怕她“懷著孕步態蹣跚”，都有人造謠。她用一個詞來描寫這種荒謬的謠言：殺人的（manslaying）。她覺得，有些男性試圖貶低抹煞她的成就。她已經在高科技行業呆了很長時間了，知道成功的女性擾亂了原有的男性統治。最后，賽瑞西亞意識到這種造謠的行為是那些男性的心理問題。她不會讓那些沒有安全感的造謠者阻礙自己簽下大交易。她很高興有吉姆·戈茨這么一個人，能告訴她周圍發生的好人好事、壞人壞事和丑人丑事。 5.不要讓對方無法發揮潛能 世界各國的女性都承擔著更多的煮飯、打掃衛生和照顧家人的工作。全職女性和她們同樣全職工作的配偶相比，做的家務更多。這背后原因有很多，女性有時會認為，把這些活干了比開口請伴侶或配偶幫忙更容易，而給自己造成了損害。 MJ·埃爾默爾覺得她作為風險投資者的工作得到了丈夫的支持，但卻沒有在家里得到支持。MJ的丈夫也是風投工作者，但在家里，做晚飯、催孩子們洗澡、檢查作業、給孩子們讀睡前讀物的都是MJ。她的丈夫從沒提出過要幫忙做家務。但是MJ意識到了一個重要問題：她也沒有開口請他幫忙。也就是說，她做的工作超出了預期，卻沒有讓丈夫充分發揮潛能。 MJ建議女性一開始就要和伴侶談談家務分工的問題，談談自己的期望和想法。“不要成為殉道者。”她說，“不要陷入假定的性別角色里。” 朱麗安·古特里是《阿爾法女孩：這些女性新秀在硅谷男性文化中做成了一生難求的好交易》一書的作者。（財富中文網） 作者：Julian Guthrie 譯者：Agatha |
My new book, Alpha Girls: The Women Upstarts Who Took on Silicon Valley’s Male Culture and Made the Deals of a Lifetime, is the story of four women who became stars in the cutthroat, male-dominated world of venture capital in Silicon Valley and helped finance and build some of the foremost companies of our time. The alpha girls are MJ Elmore, one of the first women to make partner at a venture firm in the U.S.; Magdalena Yesil, a serial entrepreneur, early e-commerce guru, and founding investor in Salesforce; Sonja Perkins, whose investments made the Internet safer and faster; and Theresia Gouw, who rose through the ranks at Accel Partners and is now cofounder of Aspect Ventures and a founding member of All Raise. I followed the women as they navigated work, family, divorce, cancer, and much more. They suffered setbacks and betrayals but found a way to succeed and become a voice for change. Here are five takeaways for working women, drawing from the stories of Alpha Girls: 1. Your family doesn’t need you every second. Magdalena Yesil was the first outside investor and board member of Salesforce, and she helped rescue the company during the dot com bust, when it was running out of money fast. But when Salesforce went public on June 23, 2004, Magdalena wasn’t there. Her son was sick, so she stayed home. Magdalena would come to regret that she had set aside her own needs the day Salesforce went public. Her son would have been fine without her; someone else could have stepped in. She should have stood next to Salesforce founder Marc Benioff during that historic moment when he rang the bell on the New York Stock Exchange. She should have been there to celebrate the company she had helped build and bring to life. An IPO, like a birth, happens only once. Magdalena told herself later: Big mistake. No man in his right mind would have made that decision. 2. Humor works wonders. The women of Alpha Girls used humor as a way to level the power dynamic with men. When MJ Elmore was a 28-year-old partner at IVP in Silicon Valley, she was tasked with firing a male founder twice her age. The entrepreneur’s company wasn’t doing well, and MJ learned that he was sleeping with one of his employees. She called a meeting, went over the entrenched problems, and told him, “You’re fired.” He looked at her indignantly and said, “I’m not going to be fired by a woman!” MJ looked to her right. Then to her left. She looked behind her. Then with a slight smile, she said, “Well, I don’t see anyone else here, do you? You’re fired.” MJ used humor to diffuse a tense situation that could have escalated. Her deft firing of the man impressed her male peers; deservedly or not, it was a win for women. To the guys, MJ’s decisiveness represented how all women might handle the situation. 3. Don’t sit on the sidelines. Networking is key in Silicon Valley, where even today, 92% of all venture capital investing partners are men. Women need to find a way to bond and connect. Being liked is a currency. Sonja Perkins was a newly named twentysomething partner at Menlo Ventures when she was invited to a banking boondoggle in Sun Valley, held by Thom Weisel, the founder of Montgomery Securities and Thomas Weisel Partners. Sonja was one of only a few women other than wives or girlfriends to be invited. She was in the lodge enjoying lunch when Weisel approached and announced, “Sonja, I signed you up—you’re in the race.” The downhill skiing race was being held that afternoon. Sonja, who had skied maybe a dozen times in her life, was soon on the steep and icy slopes, feeling like the Grinch’s dog Max looking over the snowy precipice, certain this would not end well. She was competing against former Olympic skiers and Navy seals, guys Weisel liked to recruit to turn into bankers. When it was Sonja’s turn, she took off down the hill, focusing on slow and steady. When she made it to the bottom, Weisel gave her a thumbs-up. That night, Sonja got the most coveted seat in the dining room, a place where all the sharp-elbowed bankers wanted to be—right next to Weisel. As Sonja says, “You can’t win if you don’t play the game.” 4. Find out about the locker room talk. Theresia Gouw learned early on that women in male-dominated industries need at least one male ally to share what the other guys are saying. Theresia was working in her office at Accel Partners when fellow VC Jim Goetz walked in, closed the door and told her that some guys in the Valley were suggesting that Theresia was flirting or sleeping her way to important deals. Theresia had heard rumors like this before. She was surrounded by ambitious guys, so there was always talk. She went out to dinner with entrepreneurs and there was talk. She went to conferences and heard talk. Even when she was “waddling and pregnant,” as she put it, there was still talk. She had a term for these kinds of ridiculous rumors: manslaying. Some of the men, she felt, were trying to cut her accomplishments down to size. She’d spent enough time in the tech industry to know that successful women disturbed the natural male hierarchy. At the end of the day, Theresia realized manslaying was a problem in the minds of men. She was not going to let some insecure rumormongers stop her from landing big deals. She was grateful to have a Jim Goetz to tell her the good, the bad, and the ugly. 5. Don’t enable underachievement. In every country across the world, women do more cooking, cleaning, and caretaking. Full-time working women with full-time working spouses consistently perform more housework. There are myriad reasons for this, and women sometimes harm themselves by thinking it’s easier to do the work than to ask a partner or spouse for help. MJ Elmore felt supported by her husband as a venture capitalist, but she didn’t feel supported at home. MJ’s husband was also a venture capitalist, yet at home, it was MJ who made dinner, got the kids into baths, checked homework, and began the nightly reading for her children. Her husband never offered to help run the household. But MJ realized something important: She never asked for his help, either. In this way, she was an overachiever enabling her husband’s underachievement. MJ now advises women to talk with their partners early on and establish expectations and ideas around divisions of labor. “Don’t be a martyr,” she says. “And don’t fall into the assumed gender roles.” Julian Guthrie is the author of Alpha Girls: The Women Upstarts Who Took on Silicon Valley’s Male Culture and Made the Deals of a Lifetime. |
