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了解職場(chǎng)黑暗人格特征以及如何應(yīng)對(duì)

在將這些技巧運(yùn)用到自己的生活中時(shí),要注意,不要成為一名夸夸其談的心理醫(yī)生。

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就制造絕佳第一印象而言,具有“黑暗人格”的人是這方面的專家。圖片來(lái)源:GETTY IMAGES

你身邊是否有一位固執(zhí)己見(jiàn)的“朋友”,類似于美劇《辦公室》(The Office)中的麥克·斯考特,并因此有過(guò)一段令你感到痛苦的不平凡經(jīng)歷?你是否被一位同事意外背叛,或者自己的項(xiàng)目因辦公室刻薄的女同事而遭到破壞,亦或與同事的工作情誼在毫無(wú)緣由的情況下徹底破裂?

如果你有過(guò)上述經(jīng)歷,那么你面對(duì)的人可能就具有心理學(xué)家所稱的“黑暗人格”。這些人在三種不受社會(huì)歡迎的性格特征方面得分更高,即自戀、精神病態(tài)和馬基雅維利主義(又稱權(quán)術(shù)主義)。

作為一名組織學(xué)學(xué)者,我花費(fèi)了數(shù)年的時(shí)間研究銷售職業(yè)領(lǐng)域的人格特征。在最近的研究中,我和我的同事致力于找出具有上述黑暗人格的員工在銷售機(jī)構(gòu)獲得成功的方式,以及允許他們延續(xù)其成功的社會(huì)因素。基于我們的研究,下文簡(jiǎn)要介紹了這些對(duì)抗性人格的類型,以及如何在日常生活中辨別這些人格。

黑暗人格的定義

自戀是人們最為熟知的黑暗人格類型。他們有著無(wú)上的自我優(yōu)越感,而且生怕別人不知道。在工作上,你可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),哪怕自戀型員工的業(yè)績(jī)不如普通銷售人員好,他們也會(huì)夸耀自己高超的銷售技能。保守估計(jì),自戀型人群的人口占比約為6.2%。

盡管自戀行為可能會(huì)讓人感到厭煩,但社會(huì)對(duì)其容忍度通常要高于下面要介紹的另外兩種黑暗人格特征。

功能性精神病態(tài)(非犯罪型)尤為令人感到不安。心理學(xué)家估計(jì),這類人群在人口中的占比高達(dá)4%。精神病態(tài)者在利用他人為自己牟利時(shí)不會(huì)有負(fù)罪感。功能性精神病態(tài)人群非常反感社交,通常對(duì)他人沒(méi)有多少憐憫之心。他們更關(guān)心的是通過(guò)任何必要的手段“獲得自己想要的東西”。精神病態(tài)人群會(huì)迅速推諉責(zé)任,并尋找替罪羊,哪怕為此說(shuō)謊也在所不惜。

有鑒于其易沖動(dòng)的特征,精神病態(tài)人群更易說(shuō)謊,而且毫無(wú)具體原因可言。如果你在辦公室閑聊中聽到有人說(shuō)謊,并毫無(wú)目的性,那么你可能就遇到了功能性精神病態(tài)人士。

在職場(chǎng)中,精神病態(tài)人士可能一開始看起來(lái)十分有魅力。然而人們最終可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),自己會(huì)質(zhì)疑其動(dòng)機(jī),或成為其破壞行為的犧牲品。盡管喋喋不休的自我夸耀讓他們比自戀者更難辨識(shí),但精神病態(tài)人士臭名昭著的行為最終往往會(huì)原形畢露。

馬基雅維利主義是最盛行的黑暗人格類型,預(yù)計(jì)占人口比例的16%。其名稱來(lái)自意大利文藝復(fù)興時(shí)期的政客尼科洛·馬基雅維利,他認(rèn)為只要能達(dá)到目的,采用不道德的手段亦屬正當(dāng)。馬基雅維利主義者沒(méi)有自戀者那么惹人煩,也沒(méi)有功能性精神病態(tài)者那么折磨人,他們?cè)谧非笞陨砟繕?biāo)的過(guò)程中并不張揚(yáng),在前行時(shí)也不會(huì)考慮道德約束。與獅子一樣,馬基雅維利主義者看起來(lái)人畜無(wú)害,而且在出擊之前會(huì)一直在遠(yuǎn)處緊盯其獵物。

他們擅長(zhǎng)放長(zhǎng)線。正是他們的偽裝、耐心和不易察覺(jué)的操控才讓其成為了尤為危險(xiǎn)的黑暗人格。

與精神病態(tài)者不必要的謊言相比,人們更有可能在無(wú)意中聽到人群中的馬基雅維利主義者講一些善意的謊言,其目標(biāo)是戰(zhàn)略性地推動(dòng)未來(lái)的某項(xiàng)議程。例如,你可能會(huì)聽到他們稱贊一位同事,而你恰好知道這位同事在近期將拿到一大筆獎(jiǎng)金。馬基雅維利主義者可能會(huì)為了獲邀參加他們的慶祝活動(dòng)而進(jìn)行戰(zhàn)略性的鋪墊。

簡(jiǎn)言之,黑暗人格人士看中的目標(biāo)可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),自戀者以自我為中心的特征十分明顯,而且會(huì)讓人感到厭煩,但通常無(wú)傷大雅;精神病態(tài)人士的不良行徑并不怎么明顯,但有可能異常出格。相對(duì)于自戀者,馬基雅維利主義者并沒(méi)有那么愛(ài)炫耀,其不良行為也可能沒(méi)有精神病態(tài)者那么嚴(yán)重。不過(guò)從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看,馬基雅維利主義者可能會(huì)為了實(shí)現(xiàn)其個(gè)人目標(biāo)而突然背叛他人。

當(dāng)你在思考這些黑暗人格及其在人際交往中的表現(xiàn)形式時(shí),你可能會(huì)有一種似曾相識(shí)的感覺(jué)。以下是規(guī)避自己生活中黑暗人格、盡可能減少其傷害的五種方法。

1.不要相信第一印象

就制造絕佳第一印象而言,具有黑暗人格的人是這方面的專家,他們會(huì)用幽默和魅力來(lái)吸引他人。因此,當(dāng)你遇到新人時(shí),要警惕這種膚淺的吸引力。有鑒于自戀者自吹自擂的性格傾向,這類人最容易辨識(shí)。

要辨別其他兩種類型,不妨問(wèn)問(wèn)其過(guò)往的人際關(guān)系,并認(rèn)真留意能夠透露此人本來(lái)面目的線索。由于黑暗人格在最后基本上都會(huì)原形畢露,這些人不大可能會(huì)擁有長(zhǎng)久的友誼,作為擋箭牌,他們可能會(huì)將責(zé)任歸咎于他人。

切記,不要僅根據(jù)第一印象便矯枉過(guò)正,放棄工作方面潛在的新朋友。

2.分享自己的(糟糕)經(jīng)歷

當(dāng)你遇到一個(gè)具有黑暗人格的人士,而且結(jié)果并不愉快時(shí),你可能會(huì)為放任其愚弄或操控自己而感到難堪,亦或當(dāng)你看到有人遭到他人的虐待時(shí),你也可能會(huì)感到內(nèi)疚或羞愧。最終,你可能不愿去談?wù)撨@些事情。你的這種遲疑會(huì)遭到黑暗人格者的利用,因?yàn)槟愕某聊兄谄潆[藏“黑暗核心”,也就是定義其性格的那些對(duì)抗特征。

因此,為了幫助揭發(fā)黑暗人格,并避免其他人陷入同樣遭遇,秉持謹(jǐn)慎的態(tài)度分享自身經(jīng)歷至關(guān)重要。

3.站在老板的角度思考問(wèn)題,為老板提供信息

那些具有黑暗人格的人士善于認(rèn)真管理其給領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者留下的印象。因此在工作中,你可以練習(xí)站在老板的角度思考問(wèn)題,以幫助老板更清楚地了解黑暗人格。

與老板分享你的經(jīng)歷,不要添油加醋,例如圍繞自己看到的無(wú)禮事件表達(dá)擔(dān)憂,或圍繞如何應(yīng)對(duì)喜歡夸耀并可能會(huì)因此而丟失機(jī)會(huì)和客戶的同事,尋求老板的建議或指引。此舉可能會(huì)幫助你的老板識(shí)破其面目,并有助于你解決這一問(wèn)題。

4.利用自身的人際關(guān)系

另一方面,別忘了還要傾聽他人的心聲。為了避免掉入操控者的陷阱,要利用自己身邊與問(wèn)題人士有關(guān)聯(lián)的人際關(guān)系。試試在長(zhǎng)時(shí)間內(nèi)是否能搜集到有關(guān)其行為的參考證據(jù)。在理想情況下,你可能會(huì)受益于其他人掌握的情況,也就無(wú)需親身經(jīng)歷挫折。

5.要意識(shí)到自身的偏見(jiàn)

不要低估黑暗人格人士陰謀詭計(jì)的影響力。當(dāng)有人分享遭到背叛的個(gè)人故事時(shí),要當(dāng)心出現(xiàn)“永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)發(fā)生在我身上”的想法。黑暗人格人士在操控局勢(shì)為己用方面是專家,而且你可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)察覺(jué)自己已經(jīng)掉入了陷阱,并最終發(fā)展到無(wú)法挽回的地步。覺(jué)得自己異常聰明或精明,不會(huì)在同一個(gè)陷阱中跌倒這種想法,會(huì)讓人誤入歧途。

在將這些技巧運(yùn)用到自己的生活中時(shí),要注意,不要成為一名夸夸其談的心理醫(yī)生。人有旦夕禍福,而且每個(gè)人都是如此。不要根據(jù)自己推測(cè)的潛在人格特征,對(duì)朋友、合作伙伴和同事進(jìn)行診斷,要專注于自己發(fā)現(xiàn)的任何不良行為,并采取應(yīng)對(duì)舉措,而不是挖空心思去推測(cè)該行為背后的人格。最好把此事留給專業(yè)人士。

如果你是機(jī)構(gòu)或團(tuán)隊(duì)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者,要思考設(shè)立明確的溝通指引和路徑,從而讓成員能夠匯報(bào)他們看到的任何令人擔(dān)憂的行為。通過(guò)合作與分享共同的經(jīng)驗(yàn),每個(gè)人都可以揭發(fā)那些對(duì)抗性人格人士的職場(chǎng)不當(dāng)行徑。(財(cái)富中文網(wǎng))

辛西婭?貝卡塞斯?薩托尼諾(Cinthia Beccacece Satornino)是新罕布什爾大學(xué)(University of New Hampshire)銷售中心的研究主任,也是該校營(yíng)銷學(xué)副教授。

譯者:馮豐

審校:夏林

你身邊是否有一位固執(zhí)己見(jiàn)的“朋友”,類似于美劇《辦公室》(The Office)中的麥克·斯考特,并因此有過(guò)一段令你感到痛苦的不平凡經(jīng)歷?你是否被一位同事意外背叛,或者自己的項(xiàng)目因辦公室刻薄的女同事而遭到破壞,亦或與同事的工作情誼在毫無(wú)緣由的情況下徹底破裂?

如果你有過(guò)上述經(jīng)歷,那么你面對(duì)的人可能就具有心理學(xué)家所稱的“黑暗人格”。這些人在三種不受社會(huì)歡迎的性格特征方面得分更高,即自戀、精神病態(tài)和馬基雅維利主義(又稱權(quán)術(shù)主義)。

作為一名組織學(xué)學(xué)者,我花費(fèi)了數(shù)年的時(shí)間研究銷售職業(yè)領(lǐng)域的人格特征。在最近的研究中,我和我的同事致力于找出具有上述黑暗人格的員工在銷售機(jī)構(gòu)獲得成功的方式,以及允許他們延續(xù)其成功的社會(huì)因素。基于我們的研究,下文簡(jiǎn)要介紹了這些對(duì)抗性人格的類型,以及如何在日常生活中辨別這些人格。

黑暗人格的定義

自戀是人們最為熟知的黑暗人格類型。他們有著無(wú)上的自我優(yōu)越感,而且生怕別人不知道。在工作上,你可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),哪怕自戀型員工的業(yè)績(jī)不如普通銷售人員好,他們也會(huì)夸耀自己高超的銷售技能。保守估計(jì),自戀型人群的人口占比約為6.2%。

盡管自戀行為可能會(huì)讓人感到厭煩,但社會(huì)對(duì)其容忍度通常要高于下面要介紹的另外兩種黑暗人格特征。

功能性精神病態(tài)(非犯罪型)尤為令人感到不安。心理學(xué)家估計(jì),這類人群在人口中的占比高達(dá)4%。精神病態(tài)者在利用他人為自己牟利時(shí)不會(huì)有負(fù)罪感。功能性精神病態(tài)人群非常反感社交,通常對(duì)他人沒(méi)有多少憐憫之心。他們更關(guān)心的是通過(guò)任何必要的手段“獲得自己想要的東西”。精神病態(tài)人群會(huì)迅速推諉責(zé)任,并尋找替罪羊,哪怕為此說(shuō)謊也在所不惜。

有鑒于其易沖動(dòng)的特征,精神病態(tài)人群更易說(shuō)謊,而且毫無(wú)具體原因可言。如果你在辦公室閑聊中聽到有人說(shuō)謊,并毫無(wú)目的性,那么你可能就遇到了功能性精神病態(tài)人士。

在職場(chǎng)中,精神病態(tài)人士可能一開始看起來(lái)十分有魅力。然而人們最終可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),自己會(huì)質(zhì)疑其動(dòng)機(jī),或成為其破壞行為的犧牲品。盡管喋喋不休的自我夸耀讓他們比自戀者更難辨識(shí),但精神病態(tài)人士臭名昭著的行為最終往往會(huì)原形畢露。

馬基雅維利主義是最盛行的黑暗人格類型,預(yù)計(jì)占人口比例的16%。其名稱來(lái)自意大利文藝復(fù)興時(shí)期的政客尼科洛·馬基雅維利,他認(rèn)為只要能達(dá)到目的,采用不道德的手段亦屬正當(dāng)。馬基雅維利主義者沒(méi)有自戀者那么惹人煩,也沒(méi)有功能性精神病態(tài)者那么折磨人,他們?cè)谧非笞陨砟繕?biāo)的過(guò)程中并不張揚(yáng),在前行時(shí)也不會(huì)考慮道德約束。與獅子一樣,馬基雅維利主義者看起來(lái)人畜無(wú)害,而且在出擊之前會(huì)一直在遠(yuǎn)處緊盯其獵物。

他們擅長(zhǎng)放長(zhǎng)線。正是他們的偽裝、耐心和不易察覺(jué)的操控才讓其成為了尤為危險(xiǎn)的黑暗人格。

與精神病態(tài)者不必要的謊言相比,人們更有可能在無(wú)意中聽到人群中的馬基雅維利主義者講一些善意的謊言,其目標(biāo)是戰(zhàn)略性地推動(dòng)未來(lái)的某項(xiàng)議程。例如,你可能會(huì)聽到他們稱贊一位同事,而你恰好知道這位同事在近期將拿到一大筆獎(jiǎng)金。馬基雅維利主義者可能會(huì)為了獲邀參加他們的慶祝活動(dòng)而進(jìn)行戰(zhàn)略性的鋪墊。

簡(jiǎn)言之,黑暗人格人士看中的目標(biāo)可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),自戀者以自我為中心的特征十分明顯,而且會(huì)讓人感到厭煩,但通常無(wú)傷大雅;精神病態(tài)人士的不良行徑并不怎么明顯,但有可能異常出格。相對(duì)于自戀者,馬基雅維利主義者并沒(méi)有那么愛(ài)炫耀,其不良行為也可能沒(méi)有精神病態(tài)者那么嚴(yán)重。不過(guò)從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看,馬基雅維利主義者可能會(huì)為了實(shí)現(xiàn)其個(gè)人目標(biāo)而突然背叛他人。

當(dāng)你在思考這些黑暗人格及其在人際交往中的表現(xiàn)形式時(shí),你可能會(huì)有一種似曾相識(shí)的感覺(jué)。以下是規(guī)避自己生活中黑暗人格、盡可能減少其傷害的五種方法。

1.不要相信第一印象

就制造絕佳第一印象而言,具有黑暗人格的人是這方面的專家,他們會(huì)用幽默和魅力來(lái)吸引他人。因此,當(dāng)你遇到新人時(shí),要警惕這種膚淺的吸引力。有鑒于自戀者自吹自擂的性格傾向,這類人最容易辨識(shí)。

要辨別其他兩種類型,不妨問(wèn)問(wèn)其過(guò)往的人際關(guān)系,并認(rèn)真留意能夠透露此人本來(lái)面目的線索。由于黑暗人格在最后基本上都會(huì)原形畢露,這些人不大可能會(huì)擁有長(zhǎng)久的友誼,作為擋箭牌,他們可能會(huì)將責(zé)任歸咎于他人。

切記,不要僅根據(jù)第一印象便矯枉過(guò)正,放棄工作方面潛在的新朋友。

2.分享自己的(糟糕)經(jīng)歷

當(dāng)你遇到一個(gè)具有黑暗人格的人士,而且結(jié)果并不愉快時(shí),你可能會(huì)為放任其愚弄或操控自己而感到難堪,亦或當(dāng)你看到有人遭到他人的虐待時(shí),你也可能會(huì)感到內(nèi)疚或羞愧。最終,你可能不愿去談?wù)撨@些事情。你的這種遲疑會(huì)遭到黑暗人格者的利用,因?yàn)槟愕某聊兄谄潆[藏“黑暗核心”,也就是定義其性格的那些對(duì)抗特征。

因此,為了幫助揭發(fā)黑暗人格,并避免其他人陷入同樣遭遇,秉持謹(jǐn)慎的態(tài)度分享自身經(jīng)歷至關(guān)重要。

3.站在老板的角度思考問(wèn)題,為老板提供信息

那些具有黑暗人格的人士善于認(rèn)真管理其給領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者留下的印象。因此在工作中,你可以練習(xí)站在老板的角度思考問(wèn)題,以幫助老板更清楚地了解黑暗人格。

與老板分享你的經(jīng)歷,不要添油加醋,例如圍繞自己看到的無(wú)禮事件表達(dá)擔(dān)憂,或圍繞如何應(yīng)對(duì)喜歡夸耀并可能會(huì)因此而丟失機(jī)會(huì)和客戶的同事,尋求老板的建議或指引。此舉可能會(huì)幫助你的老板識(shí)破其面目,并有助于你解決這一問(wèn)題。

4.利用自身的人際關(guān)系

另一方面,別忘了還要傾聽他人的心聲。為了避免掉入操控者的陷阱,要利用自己身邊與問(wèn)題人士有關(guān)聯(lián)的人際關(guān)系。試試在長(zhǎng)時(shí)間內(nèi)是否能搜集到有關(guān)其行為的參考證據(jù)。在理想情況下,你可能會(huì)受益于其他人掌握的情況,也就無(wú)需親身經(jīng)歷挫折。

5.要意識(shí)到自身的偏見(jiàn)

不要低估黑暗人格人士陰謀詭計(jì)的影響力。當(dāng)有人分享遭到背叛的個(gè)人故事時(shí),要當(dāng)心出現(xiàn)“永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)發(fā)生在我身上”的想法。黑暗人格人士在操控局勢(shì)為己用方面是專家,而且你可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)察覺(jué)自己已經(jīng)掉入了陷阱,并最終發(fā)展到無(wú)法挽回的地步。覺(jué)得自己異常聰明或精明,不會(huì)在同一個(gè)陷阱中跌倒這種想法,會(huì)讓人誤入歧途。

在將這些技巧運(yùn)用到自己的生活中時(shí),要注意,不要成為一名夸夸其談的心理醫(yī)生。人有旦夕禍福,而且每個(gè)人都是如此。不要根據(jù)自己推測(cè)的潛在人格特征,對(duì)朋友、合作伙伴和同事進(jìn)行診斷,要專注于自己發(fā)現(xiàn)的任何不良行為,并采取應(yīng)對(duì)舉措,而不是挖空心思去推測(cè)該行為背后的人格。最好把此事留給專業(yè)人士。

如果你是機(jī)構(gòu)或團(tuán)隊(duì)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者,要思考設(shè)立明確的溝通指引和路徑,從而讓成員能夠匯報(bào)他們看到的任何令人擔(dān)憂的行為。通過(guò)合作與分享共同的經(jīng)驗(yàn),每個(gè)人都可以揭發(fā)那些對(duì)抗性人格人士的職場(chǎng)不當(dāng)行徑。(財(cái)富中文網(wǎng))

辛西婭?貝卡塞斯?薩托尼諾(Cinthia Beccacece Satornino)是新罕布什爾大學(xué)(University of New Hampshire)銷售中心的研究主任,也是該校營(yíng)銷學(xué)副教授。

譯者:馮豐

審校:夏林

Have you ever suffered through tales of greatness from a self-absorbed “friend” who reminds you of Michael Scott from “The Office” – and not in a good way? Have you been betrayed by a colleague out of the blue, undermined on a project by the office mean girl, or had a work friendship dropped altogether without explanation?

If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you may have been dealing with someone who has what psychologists term a “dark personality.” These people score higher on three socially undesirable traits: narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism.

As an organizational scholar, I’ve spent years studying personality traits in the context of the sales profession. In recent work, my colleagues and I focused on the ways people with these dark personalities succeed in sales organizations and the social factors that allow them to extend their successful tenures. Based on our research, here’s a primer on these antagonistic personality types – and how you can unmask examples you encounter in your everyday life.

Defining the dark personalities

Narcissists have the most familiar type of dark personality. They aren’t shy about letting you know exactly how highly they think of themselves. At work, you might find the narcissist bragging about their superior sales skills, even though their performance isn’t much better than the average salesperson. Conservative estimates of narcissism in the general population fall around 6.2%.

While narcissistic behavior can be annoying, it’s usually more tolerable than what the other two dark traits tend to serve up.

Functional – meaning noncriminal – psychopaths are particularly disturbing. Psychologists estimate they comprise up to 4% of the general population. Psychopaths have no qualms about exploiting others for their own benefit. Stubbornly antisocial, functional psychopaths generally have little empathy for others. They’re more concerned about “getting theirs” by any means necessary. Psychopaths are quick to deflect blame and throw others under the bus, even if it means telling lies.

With their impulsive tendencies, psychopaths are prone to telling lies for no particular reason at all. If you find yourself in a group water-cooler conversation and hear someone telling lies that don’t seem to serve any purpose, you might have stumbled on a functional psychopath.

In the workplace, at first a psychopath may seem charming. But eventually you’ll likely find yourself either questioning their motivations, or becoming a victim of their destructive behavior. Though they can be harder to identify than narcissists with their nonstop bragging, psychopaths’ egregious behavior tends to unmask them in the end.

Machiavellians are the most prevalent of the dark personalities, estimated to be about 16% of the population. They get their name from Italian Renaissance statesman Nicolo Macchiavelli, who believed the ends could justify immoral means. Less annoying than narcissists, less abrasive than functional psychopaths, Machiavellians are more subtle in the pursuit of their agendas. They forge ahead regardless of ethical considerations. Like lions, Machiavellians seem benevolent, watching their prey from afar – until they strike.

They’re adept at playing the long game – it’s their stealth, patience and subtle manipulation that make them a particularly dangerous dark personality.

Compared with a psychopath’s unnecessary lies, you’re more likely to overhear the Machiavellian in the group telling little white lies that are strategically designed to further a future agenda. For example, you might hear them flattering the colleague you happen to know will be getting a big bonus in the near future – the Machiavellian may be strategically laying the groundwork for being invited to help them spend it.

In short, targets of dark personalities likely find narcissists to be conspicuously and irritatingly self-centered, but generally innocuous. Psychopaths are less obvious in their bad behavior, but their transgressions can be quite severe. Machiavellians are less in-your-face than narcissists, and their nefarious actions are likely to be less severe than those of psychopaths. In the long run, though, a Machiavellian can leave you reeling from an unexpected betrayal to benefit their personal agenda.

As you consider these dark traits and how they show up in interpersonal relationships, you might sense a spark of recognition. Here are five tips for avoiding dark personalities in your own life or minimizing the harm they cause.

1. Don’t fall for first impressions

Dark personalities are experts at making great first impressions, drawing you in with humor and charisma. So, when you meet someone new, be wary of superficial appeal. Narcissists, with their tendency to talk themselves up, are the easiest to spot.

To identify the others, ask questions about past relationships and listen carefully for clues about who this person really is. Because dark personalities are almost always unmasked in the end, they’re less likely to have long-standing friendships – an absence they may explain away by faulting others.

Just be mindful not to overcorrect and ditch a potential new work friend based only on first impressions, either.

2. Share your own (bad) experiences

When you encounter a dark personality and the outcome is unpleasant, you might feel embarrassed for allowing yourself to be fooled or manipulated, or you might feel guilt or shame when you observe someone treating someone else badly. As a result, you might not want to talk about it. Dark personalities exploit that reluctance because your silence helps keep hidden their “core of darkness” – the antagonistic traits that define them.

So to help unmask the dark personality and keep others from meeting the same fate, sharing your experience, with discretion, is critical.

3. Manage up to clue bosses in

Those with dark personalities are good at carefully managing the impressions they make on people in positions of power. So, at work, you can practice managing up to help your boss see the dark personality more clearly.

Share your experiences in a nongossipy way, such as expressing concern about incidents of incivility that you witnessed or requesting advice or guidance in dealing with a very boastful colleague who may be alienating prospects or customers. It may help your boss see through the facade and help you deal with the issue.

4. Plug into your networks

On the flip side, remember to also listen to others. To avoid falling into a manipulator’s web, tap into the network of those around you who share a link to the person in question. See if you can gather references regarding their behavior over the long term. Ideally, you can benefit from others’ knowledge, without having to learn the hard way.

5. Be aware of your own biases

Don’t underestimate the strength of a dark personality’s machinations. When someone shares a personal story of betrayal, be wary of thinking, “that would never happen to me!” Dark personalities are experts in manipulating situations to serve their interests, and you may never notice you’re ensnared until it’s too late. Considering yourself too smart or savvy to ever find yourself in the same predicament is misguided.

As you apply these tips in your life, you want to be wary of becoming an armchair pscyhologist. Anyone can have a bad day-and everyone has. Instead of diagnosing friends, partners and colleagues based on what you think might be their underlying personality traits, focus on any bad behaviors you personally witness, and respond to the actions – not what you think underlies them. Best leave that to the professionals.

If you are in charge of organizations or teams, consider having clear guidance and pathways of communication for individuals to report any concerning behavior they witness. By working together and sharing collective experiences, the rest of us can shine light on the workplace misdeeds of those with antagonistic personalities.

Cinthia Beccacece Satornino is research director at the UNH Sales Center and Assistant Professor of Marketing, University of New Hampshire

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