前不久，雅虎宣布，將核心業務轉讓給威瑞森電信（Verizon Communications）后，剩余資產將納入一家名為Altaba的控股公司——這個名字聽起來更像是嬰兒牙牙學語，而非一家曾經前途光明的互聯網巨擘留下的東西。

這樣的意見來自于手腳勤快的推特（Twitter）用戶。消息公布后，他們迅速群起而攻之。Altaba將持有阿里巴巴15%的股份以及雅虎日本35.5%的股權。

一位推特用戶嘲諷道：“去問問醫生，叫Altaba合適嗎。”

另一位用戶寫道：“‘Altaba’是拉丁文，意思是‘2008年我們應該接受微軟450億美元的收購報價’。”

“Altaba”看來是由“alternative”和“Alibaba”組合而來，看到雅虎給自己剩下的資產起了這樣一個名字后，《財富》雜志決定回顧一下其他曾經更名改姓但未能得償所愿的公司。

本文不會涉及那些效果欠佳的企業品牌重塑項目，那是另一個非常棘手的問題。

Tribune Publishing將名稱縮減為tronc，2016年

不，這不是拼寫錯誤。就在半年前，正在設法抵御甘尼特集團（Gannett）敵意收購的新聞出版機構Tribune Publishing決定更名為“tronc Inc.”，后者代表“tribune online content”。這次更名有點兒許下諾言的意思，承諾的內容包括跟上當今技術的腳步,以及開始在“內容變現引擎”中使用機器學習和人工智能技術。

谷歌將母公司命名為Alphabet，2015年

在林林總總的名稱中，Alphabet是個相當無害的名字，因為其中沒有擬聲成分。但對一些批評者來說，給谷歌母公司起個新名字的決定似乎略顯任性。還有人開玩笑說，對于一家當時市值超過3,000億美元的科技公司來說，這個名字可謂天真爛漫。現在谷歌的市值已經超過5,600億美元。

甘尼特將剝離后的數字媒體業務稱為TEGNA，2015年

作為《今日美國》（USA Today）的出版方，甘尼特集團決定剝離數字媒體業務。通過重新排列自己名號中的一些字母，甘尼特給了后者一個新名稱，還將其完全資本化。當時的集團CEO加西亞·莫托爾說，這個名字是“對甘尼特逾百年歷史的總結。”許多推特用戶都覺得無法從這個新名稱中領略到百年老店的高貴氣質。

Netflix將DVD郵寄業務更名為Qwikster，2011年

2011年9月，首席執行官里德·黑斯廷斯宣布Netflix將拆分為兩家公司——一家從事DVD郵寄業務，另一家為流媒體視頻服務商。前者更名為Qwikster，以體現其遞送之迅速。然而，此舉等于放棄了一個有十幾年價值的品牌，拆分后的提價也很快惹怒了消費者。發布公告僅僅幾個月后，黑斯廷斯就收回了這項決定。

從Blackwater到2009年的Xe Services，再到2011年的Academi

2009年，Blackwater對軍工承包商來說已經變成了一個“有毒”的名字，原因是2007年該公司的5名員工被指與17名赤手空拳的伊拉克平民喪生有關。這迫使它更名為Xe Services，以便遠離是非。2010年，一些個人投資者買下了這家公司，隨后將其名稱變更為Academi。時任CEO的泰德·賴特告訴《華爾街日報》（Wall Street Journal），他想讓公司變得更加“無趣”。

菲利普-莫里斯為消除不健康形象更名為高特利，2003年

從前，煙草和癌癥的關系還不廣為人知，菲利普-莫里斯（Philip Morris）也是一個絕對可用的公司名稱。然后就到了1994年，該公司高管知道尼古丁可致人上癮以及香煙可能導致肺癌的事遭曝光，公眾隨即和大型煙草公司對立起來。到2003年，菲利普-莫里斯希望顧客了解到自己“不光是一家煙草公司”。它選擇了高特利這個名字，并為之配上了馬賽克一樣的標識，和自己扎在煙草堆里的根沒有任何瓜葛。 （財富中文網）

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作者：Lucinda Shen

譯者：Charlie

Recently, Yahoo announced that following the sale of its core business to Verizon Communications, the leftover assets would placed under a holding company termed "Altaba"—a name that sounded more like infantile babble than the remnants of a once-promising internet giant.

That's according to industrious Twitter users, who quickly swooped in following the announcement to take jabs at the company that will include Yahoo's 15% stake in Alibaba and its 35.5% stake in Yahoo Japan.

"Ask your Doctor If Altaba is right for you," one user quipped.

"'Altaba' is Latin for 'We should have taken Microsoft's $45 billion offer in 2008'," another wrote.

In light of Yahoo's decision to name its remaining holdings "Altaba,"—apparently a portmanteau of "alternative" and "Alibaba"—Fortune decided to revisit other companies that launched a new name—and fell short.

We won't be tackling corporate rebranding projects that fell flat. That's a whole different monster.

Tribune Publishing truncates its name to tronc in 2016

Yes, that is not a typo. Just half-a-year ago, newspaper chain Tribune Publishing decided to rename its self "tronc Inc.," which stands for "tribune online content" while it was trying to fend off a hostile takeover from Gannett. The rebranding was a kind of pledge of sorts, that Tribune would catch up with current technology and start using machine learning and artificial intelligence in its "content monetization engine."

Google goes under parent company named Alphabet in 2015

In the grand scheme of things, "Alphabet" is a fairly harmless moniker given its lack of onomatopoeia. But to some critics, the decision to use a new name for Google's umbrella company seemed a bit arbitrary. Others joked that the name was childlike for a tech company with a market cap that was, at the time, in excess of $300 billion. Now it's over $560 billion.

Gannett spins off its digital media business, calls it TEGNA in 2015

When the publisher of USA Today decided to spin off its digital media business, it made a new name for itself by rearranging a few letters in its name, and capitalizing the whole thing. Then-Gannett CEO Garcia Mortore said that the name was "a nod to the more than 100 year-old history of Gannett." Many Twitter users failed to find the dignity associated with a century-long heritage in the new name.

Netflix renames its DVD-by-mail service Qwikster in 2011

In September 2011, CEO Reed Hastings announced it would split into two separate companies: a DVD-by-mail service, and a streaming service. The former would be renamed "Qwikster" to reflect the company's speedy delivery. In doing so however, the company foresook more than a decade's worth of branding, and quickly enraged consumers with price increases associated with the split. Just months after the announcement, the CEO was forced to backpedal.

From Blackwater to Xe Services in 2009, then to Academi in 2011

By 2009, Blackwater's own name had become toxic to the military contractor. Five of its employees were indicted in 2007 in relation to the deaths of 17 unarmed Iraqi civilians—forcing the company to change its name to Xe Services in a bid to distance itself from the controversy. In 2010, the company was sold to a group of private investor, and it's name was later changed to Academi. Then-CEO Ted Wright told the Wall Street Journal he was trying to make the company more "boring."

Philip Morris tries to shed its unhealthy image by renaming itself Altria in 2003

Once upon a time, tobacco's links to cancer weren't well-known, and Philip Morris was a perfectly viable name for a company. Then 1994 happened, and the public turned against big tobacco amid revelations that the companies' executives were exposed to research that suggested nicotine was addictive and cigarettes could cause lung cancer. By 2003, Philip Morris wanted its consumers to know that it was "more than a tobacco company." It adopted the name Altria, and paired it with a mosaic logo that made no reference to its tobacco-laden roots.