????我的三個孩子現在還不太明白錢是怎么回事，這也很正常。三個孩子中最大的也才剛剛4歲。

????兩個大的孩子都有自己的小儲錢罐，用來存放親戚們給的零錢。最近，他們跟著奶奶去了趟沃爾瑪（Wal-Mart）超市的玩具區，因為情人節時奶奶給了他們每人5美元，他們想看看把錢合起來能買些什么玩具。因此，在不久的將來，我和孩子的爸爸就有必要開始和他們談談錢了，而且我們必須講明白。

????對于這樣的談話，我談不上有什么期待。雖然這些年來，我一直在寫和錢有關的文章，但這個問題依然讓我躊躇。起初我的想法是，要讓孩子們“知道每1美元的價值”——珍惜金錢，就像他們的爸爸和我一樣。誰知道未來十年美國經濟還會遭遇什么樣的風暴呢？我應當教會他們，有點錢就存起來，以備不時之需。

????但在這個問題上我想得越多，就越發意識到（以我們目前的狀況）要教會他們節儉是不可能的，而且我也不太確定是否應該將我所有的金錢觀原原本本地教給他們。現在經濟前景充滿著不確定性，我希望孩子們在思考金錢時能秉著富足的態度，但也要有一份危機感——錢再多，也是不夠的。我想教他們要聰明地用錢，不要浪費，也不要吝嗇，但這些分寸把握之微妙，很難和孩子們講清楚并讓他們付諸實踐。

????當我開始研究孩子和錢這個話題時，我以為關于零花錢、理財教育等肯定已有很多的研究。畢竟育兒又不是什么新鮮事。但有經驗的父母們可能已經發現，專家們宣揚的種種理論莫衷一是，其中很多甚至根本就沒有研究作為基礎。

????從同行評審期刊刊登的文章來看，以做家務活為條件給零花錢看來是效果最好的做法，但根本不給零花錢的方法也很普遍。

????盡管眾說紛紜，但所有專家都談到了將父輩的金錢觀傳授給子女的重要性。

????這正是我感到困難的地方。我的金錢觀是什么呢？

????“知道每1美元的價值”，我的這種觀念來自于我的家庭，我的家人經常用優惠券購物。我的父母后來生活得不錯，但成長過程中如果我想要什么東西，我總要等到圣誕節或生日。沒人把我送到非洲做志愿者，所以我的大學論文也不是這類選題；我的大學論文都是在意大利餐館Fazoli's打工期間利用15分鐘的“吸煙休息”時間在停車場上寫出來的。站一整天換取每小時不到5美元的報酬，會讓你對賺每一元錢可能要付出的努力都心懷必要的敬意。

????十五年一晃而過。值得慶幸的是我已遠離了整日抹蒜香黃油的日子。我覺得很幸運，如今我能給孩子們提供較好的生活。但談到孩子和錢，自我感覺良好只會把事情搞得一團糟。

????前不久的一個周六，我和最大的孩子一起去逛巴諾書店（Barnes & Noble）。他看到了展示區的“托馬斯和朋友們”（Thomas & Friends），那是一套木質玩具火車，其中有一列是他還沒有的，他想讓我買。雖然標價21.99美元，我還是立刻答應了他的要求，很快買下了那個高登快速火車頭（Gordon the Express Engine）。但過后，閑下來想起這件事時，我有點后悔，擔心寵壞了孩子。他還不懂得1美元的價值呢！買這個火車頭的錢，是當年我在Fazoli's給面包抹五個小時的黃油才能賺到的工資。

????My children haven't quite figured out money yet, which makes sense. The eldest of the three is only four years old.

????The older two have little banks that they use to stash cash from relatives, and they recently took a trip to the toy aisle of Wal-Mart (WMT) with their grandmother. They saw what they could get by pooling the fives she gave them for Valentine's Day. And so, someday soon, their father and I will need to start talking with them about money. And we need to get our story straight.

????I can't say I'm looking forward to these discussions. Even though I've spent the past few years writing about money, I still find this a fraught question. My first thought was that I want my kids to "know the value of a dollar" -- to appreciate money in the same way their father and I do. Who knows what gales our economy will face in the next decades? I should teach them to squirrel away each dollar so they can hunker away from the wind at the door.

????But the more I pondered this, the more I realized that, not only is teaching squirrel behavior impossible, I'm not sure it's desirable to pass along all my money attitudes. In an uncertain world, I'm hoping I can teach my kids to think in terms of abundance alongside the usual money worry -- that there's never enough. I want to teach them to be smart, not wasteful or tight, and all this suggests a tough line to walk with my little ones.

????When I first started looking into the topic of kids and money, I assumed that there must be lots of research on allowances, financial education, and the like. Childrearing isn't a new phenomenon. But as veteran parents have likely discovered, there are many gurus touting different theories, and many of these ideas aren't based on any research at all.

????In terms of what's been published in peer-reviewed journals, it looks like giving an allowance that's conditional on chores seems to work best, but not giving an allowance at all has a lot going for it too.

????Though the theories varied, all the gurus talk of the importance of conveying your money philosophy to your kids.

????This is where I hit a rough patch. What is my money philosophy?

????I know where my "knowing the value of a dollar" mindset came from. I was born into a coupon-clipping household. My parents eventually did quite well, but growing up, I felt there was a reason I needed to wait for Christmas and birthdays if I wanted something. No one was sending me to Africa to volunteer so I could write a college essay about it; I wrote my college essays in the parking lot of Fazoli's Italian restaurant on my 15-minute "smoke" breaks. Standing on your feet all day in exchange for sub-$5/hour paychecks will give you a healthy respect for exactly what it can take to earn a buck.

????Fast-forward 15 years. Thankfully, I have moved beyond the garlic butter ladling days. I feel incredibly lucky for the life I can give my children. But when it comes to kids and money, a certain amount of comfort can muddle everything up.

????When I was at Barnes & Noble with my eldest child one Saturday not long ago, he found a display of wooden Thomas & Friends toy trains and asked me for one that he was missing from his collection. Despite the $21.99 price tag, I complied. Then, having bought Gordon the Express Engine in haste, I repented at leisure, fretting that I was spoiling my child. He wouldn't know the value of a dollar! That train would have taken five hours of breadstick buttering at Fazoli's to earn.