????特瓦羅尼特表示：“我建議先試探一下對方的反應，然后再說明自己的情況。有時候，人們只是想知道，你既解決了私事，也完成了工作。”

????當魯貝爾現在13歲的兒子還是個嬰兒的時候，她當時的雇主瓦萊羅能源公司（Valero）正在經歷一場令人瘋狂的轉型，幾乎需要她每周出差。她每次都會帶著吸奶器坐飛機，但卻從未跟同事提到自己的情況。她回憶稱：“那些人從來沒有問過我這件事，而我也沒有主動提出。這種對話讓人感覺不舒服。”

????王表示，他會與那些能夠接受這種話題的客戶或同事分享個人信息，而對于喜歡公事公辦的人，他也用相同的方式應對。他說道：“關鍵是要知道何時采取坦率的態度。有時候你只需說：‘我要參加一個會議。’”

????在收養5歲大的兒子達米安時，王和他的丈夫必須在接到通知后立刻請假前往法院。對于相交10年或15年的客戶，王會告訴他們，他要請兩天假，接受社會服務人員的面談，或者要去法院辦理收養手續。對于其他人，他只會告訴他們自己沒有空。

????但最重要的是，不能因為個人事務影響完成工作的能力。事實上，提出個人事務最好的方式，或許是首先解釋自己負責的所有項目均已步入正軌，而不是一開始便說：“我上午要請假，為即將舉辦的馬拉松進行訓練。”

????特瓦羅尼特說道：“工作績效要放在首位。如果你用結果證明了自己，你便擁有了更大的發言權。只要你能展示出自己的實力，也就可以在私人事務上更加坦率。”（財富中文網）

????譯者：劉進龍/汪皓

????“I recommend putting your toe in the water and then putting your foot in the water next,” Twaronite says. “Sometimes people just want to know, ‘Great, I accomplished my personal thing and I also got the job done.’ ”

????When Lubel’s now-13 year old son was an infant, her then-employer Valero was going through a crazy transition that required her to travel almost weekly. She brought her breast pump on the airplane every time, but never broached the subject with her colleagues. “The guys never asked me about it and I never brought it up,” she recalls. “It’s an uncomfortable conversation.”

????Wong says that he shares personal information with clients or colleagues he knows are receptive but keeps to business with those who prefer that style. “It’s knowing when you need to be transparent,” he says. “Sometimes you can just say, ‘I have a meeting.’ ”

????When he and his husband adopted their five-year old son, Damien, they had to appear in court and take time away from work at short notice. With clients Wong has known for 10 or 15 years, he could say he was taking two days off to be interviewed by social services or spending the day in court for adoption proceedings. With others, he simply said he wasn’t available.

????Above all, don’t let personal obligations affect your ability to do your work. Indeed, that may be the best way to broach a commitment. Instead of saying, “I need the morning off to train for an upcoming marathon,” begin with explaining that all your projects are on track.

????“Performance comes first,” Twaronite says. “If you’ve proven yourself in results, you will have a bigger voice. You’ll have the ability to flex your muscles and be more transparent.”