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求職花樣作死大全:簡歷中那些讓人啼笑皆非的錯

求職花樣作死大全:簡歷中那些讓人啼笑皆非的錯

Anne Fisher 2014年06月13日
招聘經理們不再像以前那么挑剔,但拼寫和打印錯誤依然會給求職者帶來不利影響,而“別出心裁”的職位名稱也可能讓求職者丟分。

????現在,人們都在樂此不疲地發短信和Twitter消息,所以,對于簡歷中的拼寫錯誤和其他錯誤,面試官們不再像以往那么苛刻,這是必然趨勢。

????有事實為證:人員安置公司Accountemps的最新調查顯示,僅有約17%的招聘經理表示,他們會因為簡歷中的小錯誤就把它們扔進廢紙簍。這個比例較之前明顯下降,五年前的比例是40%,而在2006年則為47%。有些招聘經理并不關心你是否會拼寫。超過四分之一的受訪者表示,他們會忽略三處以內的錯誤,這個比例比五年前提高了7%。

????盡管如此,仔細校對自己的簡歷,或找一位對拼寫一絲不茍的朋友看一遍簡歷,依然是明智的做法。接受調查的招聘經理中,約有三分之二(64%)表示,即使簡歷中只出現了一處錯誤,他們也會帶著懷疑的眼光去審視求職者。

????Accountemps董事長馬克思?邁斯瑪說:“大多數工作都要求對細節的關注,簡歷應該展示這項技能,而不是相反。”他認為“如今快速隨意的溝通方式”是造成下列簡歷錯誤增多的罪魁禍首:

????“我上一位雇主無緣無故就把我炸(炒)了”

????“我將于今年五岳(五月)畢業。”

????“我正在尋求重大的自我土坡(突破)。”

????“若有需要,可聯系退件人(推薦人)。”

????“從我的作品中,能夠明線(明顯)看出我的才能。”

????“目標:在會計行業實現卓悅(卓越)。”

????“我的三大(四大)業余愛好分別是汽車、高爾夫、壁球和閱讀。”

????“工作經驗:學術道士(導師)。”

????“取得了一家享有剩余(聲譽)的學院頒發的文憑。”

????“地心(底薪)要求40,000美元。”

????“曾學習公館(公關)。”

????“雖然沒有職業經驗,但我付出了自己的奴隸(努力)。”

????“若有深入研究項目,請急的(記得)聯系我。”

????真是慘不忍睹。在進行拼寫檢查時,Accountemps最近的另外一項調查還建議,求職者應該重新考慮簡歷中列出的那些“別出心裁”的職位名稱。以下是那些讓招聘經理抓狂的職位名稱示例:

????網頁編程認證禪師

????客戶經理/穩如泰山的辦公室艾迪

????技術泰迪熊

????創意巫師

????活力充沛的改變因子

????客戶服務魔法師

????高級數豆人

????設計忍者

????研究顯示,這些職位“并不聰明,而是讓求職者顯得外行”,但避免這樣的職務名稱,還有另外一個更有說服力的理由。可搜索數據庫或軟件在篩選求職者和將求職者與職位空缺匹配時,往往無法識別這些另類職位。因此,為吸引雇主眼球自行設計的“別出心裁的”職位反而會讓阻礙你從眾多求職者中突顯出來。(財富中文網)

????譯者:劉進龍/汪皓

????It was bound to happen, now that millions of us are merrily texting and tweeting away. Job interviewers have become more tolerant of spelling mistakes and other errors on resumes than they used to be.

????Consider: Only about 17% of hiring managers say they would toss a resume in the circular file if it had a single snafu in it, according to a new poll from staffing firm Accountemps. That’s a sharp drop from 40% who said they would five years ago, and 47% who said so in 2006. Some managers really don’t care whether you can spell or not. More than a quarter (27%) said they’d overlook three mistakes, up from just 7% five years ago.

????Even so, it’s smart to proofread your CV carefully, or have a friend who’s a stickler for spelling take a look at it. Almost two-thirds (64%) of the hiring managers polled said they’d look askance at a candidate who let even a single mistake slip through.

????“Attention to detail is required for most jobs, and a resume should showcase this skill, not detract from it,” notes Accountemps Chairman Max Messmer. He blames “the quick and casual nature of communication today” for the recent rise in resume blunders like these:

????“My last employer fried me for no reason.”

????“I am graduating this Maybe.”

????“I am looking for my big brake.”

????“Referees available upon request.”

????“My talent will be very a parent when you see me work.”

????“Objective: To accell in the accounting industry.”

????“My 3 biggest hobbies are cars, golf, racquetball, and reading.”

????“Work experience: Academic tudor.”

????“Earned a diploma from a very repudiated college.”

????“Looking for a bass salary of $40,000.”

????“Studied public rations.”

????“No professional experience, but I have paid my do’s.”

????“Bare me in mind for in-depth research projects.”

????Ouch. While you’re double-checking for spelling, another recent Accountemps poll suggests that you rethink any “creative” job titles listed on your resume. Here’s a sampling of some that have made hiring managers cringe:

????Certified Zen Master of Web Programming

????Account manager/Steady Eddie of the office

????Technological Teddy Bear

????The Idea Wizard

????Energetic Agent of Change

????Customer Service Magician

????High-level bean counter

????Design ninja

????These come across as “more amateurish than clever,” the study says, but there’s an even more compelling reason to avoid them. Non-traditional titles usually can’t be recognized by searchable databases or by software that screens candidates and matches them to job openings. So a “creative” title, intended to grab employers’ attention, is likely to make you invisible instead.

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